It’s also the sigh of no response. The sigh of me thinking this was a cool guy—we connected—he got my humor and played back. He is passionate about what he does, as am I. —We told stories—we laughed—a lot. He’s into music—eclectic taste—like me. —He plays tennis—I want to play more. He skis—major bonus. He even had been through the small ski town where I learned how to ski. ——And we both like fries.
BUT—yes, the dreaded ‘but’, … he was/is in town at a sad time. His dad was not doing well. He needed a break—a change of scenery and we had chatted about a martini. We decided to meet up at a local resort, outdoors, that had music. That was where our connection began which I mentioned earlier, for 8 ½ hours. That’s a bit of time…solid time.
The next day we were in touch and met later for dinner. We had two long evenings of face-to-face time. The following few days, I checked in on him, and he checked back with me and vice versa. I related to his heavy life situation since my own Dad passed only 7 months earlier. I felt it deep.
We continued to text and chat. He said he missed me, and I missed him too…it was a banding–together thing. And then his dad was taken off life support. He asked to get together that day—of course I would. I got it—I understood he needed a new face to chill with. He confided earlier about family and circumstances. He commented that he rarely revealed or spoke about this to anyone. In my Jules world—yes, we connected.
So when I texted later to check in, he said his dad had passed an hour earlier and he was in “work mode”. I told him how very sorry I was and asked him if I could do anything. He replied, “Thank you so much, there probably is.’”
I tried to keep my next response light. I replayed the martini we sipped the first night we met, and the fried green tomatoes the second night into my answer. I asked, “Fried green tomatoes and a martini?” –and I inserted a smiley face. —He replied, “Something more.” –and he inserted a smiley face.
I said to myself, “Really—that answer is very full–do we have to go there— is this something guys feel the need to spell out?”– This also seemed like a very odd time to bring it up.
I still do believe, along with my girlfriends, in this odd dating world, that “that” is something special——and evolves naturally. Are we the “last of the Mohicans” that believe this? He, on the other hand, obviously, did not share in my thinking. I responded that I wasn’t sure where his text was going, but I move slow in that area…it means something to me…so if that is what you are needing, then you have to look elsewhere. “
His response? Nothing—he went dark. Wowwwwwww.
My guy friends and girl friends agreed completely with my texted response. “He’s a creep—shallow—spineless,” they said. ––And the sad part is, that is not how I would have described him with the beginning bond that I had felt, earlier. But yes—the peacock feathers fell out, and the bird skin appeared.
Sometimes I feel like a boxer going into the ring on each date—keeping my guard up, doing the bouncy boxer footwork. I have to. BUT, I do let that guard down a little and then a little more. Sometimes I get a hit—an emotional hit of disappointment, and sometimes I get that soft feeling to let it down more, and then more.
I do trust there is a good guy out there on the same page of my book. No matter how many bruises of disappointment I get, I continue to go back in that ring. Sure it wears on you and my girlfriends and guy friends attest to that too. But I’m one strong chick—I can take it—I don’t want to—but I can. I’m living life as it should be and waiting…patiently waiting—for that day when the mirage of a good guy will be real.