Being in the dating world—I have found it most enlightening to have guy friends that are also dating. About 4 years ago I met my friend, Ben. We had a couple of dates and then it morphed into a “just friends” deal. He has been a good friend. Although, as his friend, I was included in his minute by minute date reviews.
Ben was definitely on the dating circuit. He made dates as often as he brushed his teeth—daily– sometimes bi-daily. He constantly checked in with me and gave me, “The Ben Review”. He also continued to stress, or rather, annoy me that I must date more. He said that I wasn’t getting any younger, and if a woman is over a certain age –well, by his dating observation—the odds of finding someone are as slim as winning the lottery. Thanks, Chief. I was perfectly fine with a date here and there. My main focus was on my creative stuff. However, if he hit me on the right day, Ben actually made me think twice. I wondered if I was approaching this dating thing all-wrong.
After a good 6 months of Ben’s dating carousel, he found someone and moved to LA. However, after 4 years they decided to part. He has returned. I received a phone call the other day with him announcing, “I’m baccccccccccK.” –And so, Ben’s dating circuit is open for business… again. With much eagerness, he pleaded, “Let’s put on the gear and hunt the tropics for some wild childs.” “Come again?” I asked. What was this so-called lingo he was babbling. He then continued and winked, “I learned quite a bit living in LA.” “Really.” I challenged, and then answered, “I guess I need to refer to you as the dating guru?”
Hanging with Ben made me unsettled and unfocused —but I will be happy, sort of, to listen to his escapades. I have learned a lot about guys and how they view the dating world, and also how the women they date operate. I have learned that I am a kitten amongst a valley of tigers.
And then there is my friend, John. He slowed down for a couple of weeks after meeting a very dysfunctional woman. Within a short amount of time they went over the cliff. Because of that encounter, I hoped he would walk the righteous path. He found a very sophisticated woman who definitely has it going on—but maybe too much. Her schedule is large and tight. She goes dark for several days at a time. He even asked her if she worked for the CIA. John needs attention—and so he got the itch and another itch—and another itch—and now there are 6 women he has seen in the past 7 days.
One by one, he will stop seeing them and pick up another. He’s a dating gambler. John shuffles and discards what he doesn’t want, and chooses new cards. He hopes his odds increase, and that the winning card hits.
And with Ben’s dating, it’s the lounge lizard approach. He slithers in, hunts his prey, and hypnotizes them into thinking he’s “the man”. He’s kind of like the python, Kaa, in the movie, “Jungle Book”…just look into his eyes and your done.
And me, I just sit back, listen to their stories, and probably become even more guarded with my heart.